Surviving Depression

Depression is very real, and, if you’re going through it, you know just how important being repeatedly reminded of your value can help. Even if you don’t ever go with your friends, you want to be wanted, because it lets you know people are thinking about you, though you need time alone.

[doubting your ability to clearly explain it all, you say you’re just tired]

You want your loved ones to get past the awkwardness of asking what’s wrong so you can tell them, but your words barely make sense to you. So, doubting your ability to clearly explain it all, you say you’re just tired, and you really are.

[…but this all-encompassing cloud hangs over you]

You’ve dealt with so many thoughts about how you could feel better; for you to be out of pain, truly experiencing the professed love of your family and friends, and the sense of being important instead of just hearing it. That would tire anyone out, but this all-encompassing cloud hangs over you.

Eventually it dissipates, and you don’t know how. You think about what you went through, but you can’t quite put your finger on what changed. You appreciate the little things again, like when someone holds a door for you or waves you on in traffic.

Though you want to figure it out for next time, because their is always a next time, you don’t want to look back on it for fear your thoughts might take you there again.

So you live with this hidden shadow, waiting to come back, and there, perched in the back of your mind it bides its time. It knows—No, you know it will be back, and maybe it never really goes anywhere. Maybe that’s why you’re sitting in your mind, pondering your self-worth based on your contributions to a group of people you love, while you go through your everyday routine, waving a smile and cheering up others.

[…that was the solution last time]

Maybe you convince yourself the smile you’re selling is real. Maybe that was the solution last time. You didn’t want to remember it before. Did the cloud ever stop raining? Did you find your thistles to chew on in the Thousand-Acre Woods?

You don’t know. Perhaps you weren’t actually depressed because you convinced yourself it was real, the smiles and cheer, and maybe that makes this time worse.

[This is your normal]

It is never about any time. This is living with depression, and you’re strong despite being exhausted. While you’ve considered giving up, something always brings you out of it. This is your normal.

Maybe that something is someone who isn’t in your life or treating you how you want, triggering your cloud to come out and play. That can be devastating. Find someone to talk to. Get past the awkward words, and get help. You’re worth it. You aren’t alone, and people know what you’re going through. Our circumstances may be different, but I too survive my depression. Make sure you keep surviving with me.

The lights dim, and the crowd murmurs as he takes the stage. The familiar house beat—four on the floor, accented with snare and hi-hats, comes in, driven by the familiar bass that sets the tone and mood of his brand of post-apocalyptic, horror house, that begins the rhythm and buzz on the dance floor, driving the crowd to dance. Smiles and cheers go round the floor as fans shuffle and groove to the beat, mesmerized by the otherworldly tones.  

This is a BLOODTONE show, but it is not just any BLOODTONE show. This is the first time BLOODTONE will play in Florida, and he is coming to Los dos Plebes Night Club, brought to you by Manifestation Empire and Jo Jo Productions. You get to be part of this experience on December 29, 2018.  

Direct support will be provided by Mvnfest, Portalz, and VictorXCornejo. There are some surprise guests that may play, but I can’t give everything away. You can come party with us, and bring some friends. 

Be sure to give BLOODTONE some love on Twitter, and check out Manifestation Empire on Facebook to find out the hottest shows coming to the Tampa Bay Area.

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Schedule

Come check out some new shows.

Realization by Sandal

Neck and back pain are a regular for me, stemming from a car accident and my military service. This seems common place for most people, and I let my pain keep me from living life to its fullest for the last four years.

I recently completed physical therapy to help with the pain and mobility issues. The strengthening helped my mobility, but nothing stops my nerve pain.

I also saw a nutritionist to help me combat my weight gain. Anyone dealing with limited mobility can relate. My weight slowly increased 40 pounds, and I needed to do something about it.

We set up a plan, reducing my soda intake while increasing my water intake. Now, three weeks later, I’ve lost nine pounds, and I rarely drink a whole can of soda. I drink between 120 to 160 ounces of water every day, and I feel better.

My wife decided it was time to get me new sandals, my most worn shoe, and, with my focus on feeling better and improving my quality of life, I thought better shoes might help me feel a little better. I was wrong. It made me feel a lot better.

I am wearing a new pair of Finn Comfort sandals: German made, hand sewn, Italian leather sandals with removable insoles and the ability to be resoled. I love the feel and understand what I previously would have considered a ridiculous price. These are the Mercedes Benz of sandals, and they are worth every penny of the $200+ price tag. This experience prompted me to share my realization with you.

I grew up not wanting for much. Part of this is because my parents set my expectations early on. We had what we needed, and my parents went out their way to get us special things when they could.

The most important thing my parents spent on us was their time. We had a good life, and it was because my sisters and I knew we were loved. There wasn’t a price tag on my parents’ time for their kids. This is something I try to emulate with my daughters. My five daughters and my wife are the most important people in my universe.

I don’t want any regrets when I leave this world. I want my time, the most precious commodity I have to offer, to be comfortable. Yes, I deal with pain, but I won’t let it control me. My comfort is worth the fiscal price I pay because it affords me the priceless, quality time with my family.

My footwear choices are no longer solely based on functionality and acceptable levels of reducing discomfort. My priority is now is comfort so I can enjoy every special moment with my family. I challenge you to do the same.

Treat your body right, feel good, and enjoy your time with the ones you love. The memories you form with those loved ones are priceless. To think, I learned all this buying a pair of sandals. I can’t wait until I need new sneakers.

Schedule

Here is a new track on Choon.